Have you ever been thrust into a situation in which you found it necessary to purport your demeanor as being pompous or ostentatious? I am sure that many of my readers do not share my vantage point on this matter. However, that does not preclude my entering this posting into my periodic ventures into the English language. See IG- PAY ATLIN LAY .
I love to play with words, mainly because they don’t argue with you, that is unless you talk to yourself, and they don’t threaten to take their ball and go home if things aren’t going their way. Plus with English it is so easy to do so.
CASES IN POINT
Whenever I am on my way to work my crossword puzzle (which in my house is code for “I’m headed to the bathroom to take care of some paper work.”), I always alert my wife that I am going to “See a man about a horse”. But you, know that old axiom can get stale after a while. So I decided to dress it up a bit. The following is the result of my linguistic creativity (way with words).
How about saying instead: I’m going to negotiate with a gentleman for the procurement of a competitive equine creature.
Or maybe how about this instead of admitting that you are lazy: I am adept at seeking alternative methods of accomplishing difficult tasks.
Here’s a good one that would go over big on the floor of the U.S. Senate: I believe in the case of the Honorable Gentleman from the great state of Confusion that he is engaging in the practice of alleging that the cooking utensil is Raven in tincture.
Or, how about trying to keep it civil when in the presence of ladies: You, my dear friend, are brimming with male Bovine waste matter!
And when you are faced with an unexpected surprise, how about keeping it clean with: Sanctimonious folderol! Look that one up in your Funk and Wagnalls!
I like using the following when fearing the worst in an upcoming office meeting: In the event that I cannot stun them with refulgence, I will endeavor to discomfit them with male Bovine waste matter! That’ll win ’em over to your side every time!
Tired of using the same excuse for being late, you can always explain that: I was temporarily detained by snarled vehicular discumbobulation. Of course “discumbobulation” is not a real word, but what do they know?
Something weighing heavy on your mind: It collided with my being similar to a colossal number of weighty masonry objects.
FINIS
Well, once again: I feel that I have amply surpassed my ability! Which in my case, doesn’t require much.
By all means, it would please me greatly if you were to revel in this present time period of solar luminosity!
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AWSOME AT AWARDING AWARDS
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Fun entry! My own dad and his friends always were seeing a man about a dog – must have been a midwestern variant.
And actually, discombobulate is a word, but it’s extremely interesting for one reason: “dis” gets used to indicate a negative. Like, “disenfranchise”. You can remove “dis” from words and get the positive, like “enfranchise”. But there isn’t any “combobulate”! People use it, but it isn’t a “real” word.
Of course, that raises other issues, like just who gets to decide what words are real and which aren’t – but we can leave that for another day!
My gratitude for your observation is overwhelming and magnanamously esteemed. Have I obfuscated the issue? Thanks as always for stopping by. I hear that Randy Looney is working on a piece for Christmas and I have to watch daily because somehow he tends to slip his foolishness in when I’m not looking.
JKB