HOW HARD CAN IT BE? VENTING WITH RANDY LOONEY

21ST CENTURY TECHNOLOGY AT IT BEST????
21ST CENTURY TECHNOLOGY AT IT BEST????

All right!  This time I’m really venting!

HOW HARD CAN IT BE . . . ?

If you’re like me, you don’t like to be inconvenienced uselessly.  Case in point: The other day I called a major home improvement store to find out some basic information by asking a simple question;  “Do you have any…?”  I finally hung up in disgust after pressing three, four, five, six, seven , etc., and talking to two people, one twice.  The reason I ended the call abruptly was because neither could get me to the correct department, the Garden Center.  How hard could it be?  This store is not the size of the state of Texas, they have a public address system and all the sales staff have walkie talkies!

AUTOMATED TELEPHONE HELL RELIEF!
AUTOMATED TELEPHONE HELL RELIEF!

Why do these stores have the dreaded “Automated Phone Hell”  to begin with? Most of us will not know these as a Hosted Phone System . They do nothing but alienate customers before they even get in the store or whatever establishment it happens to be.  How hard could it be to hire someone to sit on the switchboard? You younger folks will have to ask grandma what a switchboard is.  I’ll give you a hint:  it doesn’t have wheels  and it not something you take to the park to “catch some air” with.  What with people being out of work or jobs being outsourced to East Rawminda Poo Poo India, you would think that it would be easy to hire people to make customers feel important.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE? . . .

Fast Food drive-thrus are also a pet peeve of mine.  Have you ever driven through the local “Clown E. Burger” and had to raise your voice and speak in syllables?  You know what I’m talking about.  “NO!!!!!!! I WANT YOUR CLOWN-EEEEEEEY CHEEEEE-ZEEEZZZ BURGEE, A SMALLLL-EEEEEE ORDER OF FRENNNNNN-CHHH-EEEEEEEEE FRYYYYYYY-ZEEE-EEEEZZZZZ AND A YOU-MUNGGGGG-EEEEEE KOH-KEEEEE-EEEEYYYY KOOOOHHHHH-LEEEEEE! NOT THE BAY-KKKKKEEEENNNNNNN-EEEE CHICK-KENNNNNNY MIDGE-YETTTE SAMMMMMEEEEEEE-WHIIIIICCCCHHHH-EEEEEEYYYYYY”

Then you have to deal with the attendant’s response again. “I’M SORRY WE ON’T HAVE ANY XYZWER% OODAY.  BUT WE CAN SUBSTITUTE A KEI7*< IN A KER^5___ WITH @JRO8&?2”

First of all, why can’t they get a TWO-WAY communications system that doesn’t require the transmission to be bounced off of the moon and re-transmitted back to earth?  It would be easier just to sit in your car and scream your order directly to the order window rather than go through all the other trouble.  Secondly, why can’t they hire people who speak English.  Now before you go calling me a “Racist” or an “Elitist”, let me clarify.  I’ am talking about people who can speak English in an understandable manner.  It’s hard enough when the company uses poor communications equipment, why make it more difficult when the person using it can’t speak clearly.  Whatever happened to driving up to a window and talking directly to a human?

HOW HARD CAN IT BE? . . .

I love it when I call someone who I know at least “likes” me and I have to leave them a voicemail.  Within seconds I receive a text message asking “What’s up?”  DUH! How hard would it have been to answer the phone?  Or at least listen to my voicemail.

If the person is busy and can’t talk at that I moment, I understand.  But if they’re not, it takes just as much time to text back a message as it does to answer the phone in the first place.  That’s why it’s called a TELEPHONE! It enables two or more people to conduct a conversation using audible words, not three or four capital letters that are visible abbreviations for words. DYKWIM?

MY POINT

If you know anything about me, you’ll know that I’m an OWG.  For those of you who are my generation, go ask your teenager, they’ll be glad to tell you what it stands for.  I guess that maybe it’s my generation’s fault that we’ve managed to raise offspring that have not learned the art of communication.  Whether it be calling a business to find out information, ordering burgers or talking on the phone.  We were the ones responsible for inventing the technology and processes that makes it possible for our kids and grandkids to whiz by us on their skateboards or jet-skis, briefly waving to us a smile in three capital letters.

Maybe it’s just that the younger people of today just don’t want to talk because they feel that they have nothing to say that would take more three capital letters.  If that’s the case, that’s scary.  What does that mean for the future?  As communications technology increases, will verbal conversation eventually become unnecessary and be lost all together.  We’ve already abandoned letter writing as a form of communication to the extent that future generations will not know us intimately and how we felt about each other.  That is unless they are able to preserve the billions and billions of text messages and e-mails and the technology that will enable them to be displayed.  I’m surprised that we still make paper and pencils today.

Maybe our generation has failed to teach our children how to communicate properly because we were so busy creating technology and processes that we abbreviated our communications with them.  A familiar saying attributed to Alexander Pope states “As the twig is bent, so grows the tree” (paraphrased) sums it up best.  If in the case as stated above we are responsible because of our actions, then payback really is a bitch.  We have no one to blame but ourselves.

Whatever the reason, it is what it is and I’ll just have to live with it.  I don’t have to like it, but then I don’t like broccoli either..

R. L.OONEY

CAUTION: IF YOU HAPPEN TO SPOT AN OWG WALKING DOWN THE STREET LOOKING DISHEVELED IN A THREE PIECE SUIT, WEARING A BOW TIE, CALL 1-555-WITEKOTE.  RANDY’S WANDERED AWAY FROM SUNSHINE MANOR AGAIN.  DON’T TAKE ANY ADVICE FROM HIM.

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AWESOME AT BLOGGING AWARDS AWARD

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